Everyone deals with it, even without intention. Mom's in general always think they have the right answer, or have it worse than you. I know this to be true, because I AM always right and my situation IS worse than yours. ;)
For example: Carter does not sleep through the night. Not even close. He's awake sometimes every 1.5 hours, and can only settle while being nursed. Most mothers pipe up and tell me to sleep train, "It worked for me, if you do it right it'll work for you." or "My kids are 10 and still waking at night, wait till you've been sleep deprived for 10 years."
At first glance I want to punch you in the face for trivialising my predicament. But, I've been trying to deal with such comments with a better understanding. Trying to get to the root of why women are telling me these horror stories or making it seem "so easy." It kills me to say it... BUT they are only trying to help.
Everyone thinks (and I am just as guilty) that their advice is going to be the advice that 'clicks' and is the suggestion you've been waiting for, that will miraculously cure all your baby woes. And when I think of it that way...
All you mom's and your unintended insults of wisdom are so sweet. Thank you so much for caring and for trying to help me out. Although your advice will probably make me roll my eyes at first, I do take all advice to heart eventually. I appreciate the input. Even if I think you're wrong :P
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Mommy ReeeeeMIX - Sing-Along-Songs
Jumpin Up and Down in my Little Blue Jumper. (Jumpin Up and Down in my Little Red Wagon)
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumping all day long!
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
Tummies too
Tummies too
Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
I love all of you!
One Little Monkey Jumping on the Couch (Bed)
One little monkey jumpin on the COUCH
He fell down and he yelled OUCH
Mommy called the Doctor the Doctor SHOUTS
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumping all day long!
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin with my mom!
2nd Verse to Head and Shoulders.
Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
Tummies too
Tummies too
Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
I love all of you!
One Little Monkey Jumping on the Couch (Bed)
One little monkey jumpin on the COUCH
He fell down and he yelled OUCH
Mommy called the Doctor the Doctor SHOUTS
NO MORE MONKIES JUMPIN ON THE COUCH!
Monday, November 15, 2010
"Like a Cow"
Recently I've been put into the situation where I've had to explain breastfeeding to several children. Kids that come into my home, who come from homes that bottle feed. I have never been one to hide while Carter nurses, so I guess this moment was bound to happen more than once.
Obviously when a child see's Carter latched onto my boobs, they come running over, "What's he doing?" They always say with blank stares, and wonder. At first I was a little insecure. Was this something I should really be explaining to children that aren't mine? Yes. They are in my home, and asking a very natural question, about something just as natural.
Here are my two recent enounters and how I handled them:
1) Breanna is my 2nd cousin on my husbands side. She is 6 years old, and this was my first time meeting her. I had gone upstairs to nurse Carter, where the distractions were gone, so he could have a solid feed. When who should pop her head around the door frame? I invited Breanna in and she came right up to my breasts and looked at Carter suckling away.
"What is he doing to you Shannon?"
I was caught off guard. I wasn't sure how to explain. So I went about it very matter of fact.
"I am feeding Carter my own milk. He drinks from me instead of from a bottle. My breasts make milk special for him when he is hungry."
Breanna was satified with that answer, and seemed to understand. After a few minutes, she looked up from staring at Carter and said to me:
"Which side in Chocolate?" I smiled and told her "I think the right one." :)
2) My niece Brooklyn on my husbands side is 4. The same situation had come up, but she was not as satified with my "matter of fact" explantion of breastfeeding. I searched my brain for a way to explain it to her that might make some real sense to her. "I GOT IT!"
"Brooklyn you know how baby Calfs drink milk from the mommy Cows in your backyard?" -S
"Ya, then we drink that milk too." -B
"Well, Auntie Shannon is like a Mommy Cow and Carter is like a baby Calf." -S
"Oh, OK."
And that was that.
I wonder what it will be like explaining breastfeeding to a little boy?
Obviously when a child see's Carter latched onto my boobs, they come running over, "What's he doing?" They always say with blank stares, and wonder. At first I was a little insecure. Was this something I should really be explaining to children that aren't mine? Yes. They are in my home, and asking a very natural question, about something just as natural.
Here are my two recent enounters and how I handled them:
1) Breanna is my 2nd cousin on my husbands side. She is 6 years old, and this was my first time meeting her. I had gone upstairs to nurse Carter, where the distractions were gone, so he could have a solid feed. When who should pop her head around the door frame? I invited Breanna in and she came right up to my breasts and looked at Carter suckling away.
"What is he doing to you Shannon?"
I was caught off guard. I wasn't sure how to explain. So I went about it very matter of fact.
"I am feeding Carter my own milk. He drinks from me instead of from a bottle. My breasts make milk special for him when he is hungry."
Breanna was satified with that answer, and seemed to understand. After a few minutes, she looked up from staring at Carter and said to me:
"Which side in Chocolate?" I smiled and told her "I think the right one." :)
2) My niece Brooklyn on my husbands side is 4. The same situation had come up, but she was not as satified with my "matter of fact" explantion of breastfeeding. I searched my brain for a way to explain it to her that might make some real sense to her. "I GOT IT!"
"Brooklyn you know how baby Calfs drink milk from the mommy Cows in your backyard?" -S
"Ya, then we drink that milk too." -B
"Well, Auntie Shannon is like a Mommy Cow and Carter is like a baby Calf." -S
"Oh, OK."
And that was that.
I wonder what it will be like explaining breastfeeding to a little boy?
Friday, November 12, 2010
Back to work, but not weaning...
After fighting it as long as we could, the decision has been made. I have to go back to work. This is the most unnatural feeling, and it builds up inside me and makes my hands shake. I know I am not the first mother who has had to go back to work before the end of the first year. (my mom, and how about all those American moms?) I know I am not a special case. But Carter is, and I feel like I have screwed him out of that first steady, easy, predictable first year.
I have always known that I would nurse Carter as long as he wanted to. Let him lead me in terms of weaning, when he was ready. My mom nursed me to 18 months, until one day I went up to her and pulled her shirt back down "no mommy." I know I broke her heart that day. (she reminds me all the time) I swore I would do for my children what she did for me.
How does a mom go back to work, and still allow for child led weaning.. without shortening the experience?
Well, I don't know. But am determined to figure it out.
Les has always been a great support, from day one literally when he fought off a NICU nurse and the dreaded bottle. "Shannon and I feel very strongly about exclusively breastfeeding Carter, please do not give him a bottle if we aren't here. Shannon will come whenever a feeding is needed. If this seems difficult, could we please speak to a nurse that shares our views?" We never saw that nurse again, and Carter never went hungry. So that being said he is very supportive of figuring out a way to keep nurishing our boy with my liquid gold, while I return to work aswell. "I would hate to see you go to formula, after knowing and seeing how important this is to you." (at least I have support cause this is going to be tough)
The plan? Well, we plan to take this next month introducing new foods to Carter and starting the whole process. (gah, I was hoping to just nurse and let Carter pick foods off our plates as he seemed interested.... and not really forse the whole solids thing.) Once he has a good grasp on new foods, start allowing Daddy to feed the occasional late morning/ late afternoon BM bottle. Allowing Carter to get used to that, before I even think about a stranger doing it. My hope is that I can find a childcare provider close to where I find my job. I plan to feed Carter during my lunch or any breaks I may get. Hopefully preventing too much of a switch to the bottle. (though I know that is inevitable)
This post is taking me forever to wrtie... I find I can't even find the words to make this feel right, or make it seem possible. I know most people would think I am making to much of this. Maybe. But, decisions regarding your baby are never easy. I know Carter is resiliant, and he will get plenty of great experiences at a daycare. Selfishly I want my baby home with me, where I know he will be loved, and nurtured. Selflessly I know I need to work, to help provide for my son. So I can continue to give him the best life he deserves.
Maybe Carter will wean himself over the next month... but, I hope in 2 years you see me with a toddler attached to my chest. Then you will know, Carter is leading the weaning. Not Work.
I have always known that I would nurse Carter as long as he wanted to. Let him lead me in terms of weaning, when he was ready. My mom nursed me to 18 months, until one day I went up to her and pulled her shirt back down "no mommy." I know I broke her heart that day. (she reminds me all the time) I swore I would do for my children what she did for me.
How does a mom go back to work, and still allow for child led weaning.. without shortening the experience?
Well, I don't know. But am determined to figure it out.
Les has always been a great support, from day one literally when he fought off a NICU nurse and the dreaded bottle. "Shannon and I feel very strongly about exclusively breastfeeding Carter, please do not give him a bottle if we aren't here. Shannon will come whenever a feeding is needed. If this seems difficult, could we please speak to a nurse that shares our views?" We never saw that nurse again, and Carter never went hungry. So that being said he is very supportive of figuring out a way to keep nurishing our boy with my liquid gold, while I return to work aswell. "I would hate to see you go to formula, after knowing and seeing how important this is to you." (at least I have support cause this is going to be tough)
The plan? Well, we plan to take this next month introducing new foods to Carter and starting the whole process. (gah, I was hoping to just nurse and let Carter pick foods off our plates as he seemed interested.... and not really forse the whole solids thing.) Once he has a good grasp on new foods, start allowing Daddy to feed the occasional late morning/ late afternoon BM bottle. Allowing Carter to get used to that, before I even think about a stranger doing it. My hope is that I can find a childcare provider close to where I find my job. I plan to feed Carter during my lunch or any breaks I may get. Hopefully preventing too much of a switch to the bottle. (though I know that is inevitable)
This post is taking me forever to wrtie... I find I can't even find the words to make this feel right, or make it seem possible. I know most people would think I am making to much of this. Maybe. But, decisions regarding your baby are never easy. I know Carter is resiliant, and he will get plenty of great experiences at a daycare. Selfishly I want my baby home with me, where I know he will be loved, and nurtured. Selflessly I know I need to work, to help provide for my son. So I can continue to give him the best life he deserves.
Maybe Carter will wean himself over the next month... but, I hope in 2 years you see me with a toddler attached to my chest. Then you will know, Carter is leading the weaning. Not Work.
I let my baby 'cry it out.'
But not in the way you might think. As most mommies that know me know, I was TOTALLY against the CIO method. For the last 2 months Carter has been giving my 'gentle' parenting style a true run for it's money, when it came to night waking. Things had gotten so bad that Carter ( a fully fed and satified baby ) was waking ever 45 mins at night. He would fall asleep nursing or only being held and the moment he was placed in his crib... BOOM wide awake and not interested at all in "sleepy time."
I started thinking that there was no point to going to bed myself, because I would go to sleep to be woken up minutes later. This pattern ineveitably was going to catch up with me, and who was going to suffer? My teeny insomiac son. Instead I got serious about researching sleep training. (I still cringe at that thought. He's only 5 months, what am I doing thinking I should be training him so young?) But I knew if I didn't try to fix this night issue, my 'gentle' techniques would turn to that of an Ogar.
So, I spoke with my sisters and other moms, and did extensive research online. I realised that CIO didn't mean leaving your baby to fend for itself. Left to cry in a dark, lonely, scary room, to figure out that crying wouldn't get him anywhere. It was not to have my baby end up feeling issolated and abandoned. Nor was it to leave him for hours alone, in hopes of him "figuring" it out. The true CIO method is actually quite reasonable and so far, working for Carter and me.
I recognize that Carter is only demanding me so much at night, because he can. He knows if he cries, I'll come sweepng him up and put him to the breast. Or walk around with him singing him back to sleep. (who wouldn't want that?) So, after following our same familliar and sucessful bedtime routine, I lay Carter in his crib awake, kiss him and tell him I love him. Leave the room. He falls asleep fine the first time.
During the night I started letting him cry with me by his side, with a calm voice I tell him "It's time to sleep now, shhhh, time to close your eyes" and brush his cheeks with my fingers. Once he is calm I leave the room. If he cries, I allow 2 minutes to go by before I go back in and do the same thing. Gently reminding him that is time to sleep, and give him his soother. After going back into his room 3 times, my little guy usually takes his soother for the final time and falls asleep. I go through this 2-3 times a night, and it only last for about 5-10 mins. VS the hours spent trying to rock him or nurse him to sleep that clearly wasn't working.
I am hoping this new technique will benefit both my son and myself, and keep working. If not, I'll try something new. But for now, I am happy that I've learned the 'real' way to properly introduce the CIO method. I am optomistic.
Cross your fingers.
I started thinking that there was no point to going to bed myself, because I would go to sleep to be woken up minutes later. This pattern ineveitably was going to catch up with me, and who was going to suffer? My teeny insomiac son. Instead I got serious about researching sleep training. (I still cringe at that thought. He's only 5 months, what am I doing thinking I should be training him so young?) But I knew if I didn't try to fix this night issue, my 'gentle' techniques would turn to that of an Ogar.
So, I spoke with my sisters and other moms, and did extensive research online. I realised that CIO didn't mean leaving your baby to fend for itself. Left to cry in a dark, lonely, scary room, to figure out that crying wouldn't get him anywhere. It was not to have my baby end up feeling issolated and abandoned. Nor was it to leave him for hours alone, in hopes of him "figuring" it out. The true CIO method is actually quite reasonable and so far, working for Carter and me.
I recognize that Carter is only demanding me so much at night, because he can. He knows if he cries, I'll come sweepng him up and put him to the breast. Or walk around with him singing him back to sleep. (who wouldn't want that?) So, after following our same familliar and sucessful bedtime routine, I lay Carter in his crib awake, kiss him and tell him I love him. Leave the room. He falls asleep fine the first time.
During the night I started letting him cry with me by his side, with a calm voice I tell him "It's time to sleep now, shhhh, time to close your eyes" and brush his cheeks with my fingers. Once he is calm I leave the room. If he cries, I allow 2 minutes to go by before I go back in and do the same thing. Gently reminding him that is time to sleep, and give him his soother. After going back into his room 3 times, my little guy usually takes his soother for the final time and falls asleep. I go through this 2-3 times a night, and it only last for about 5-10 mins. VS the hours spent trying to rock him or nurse him to sleep that clearly wasn't working.
I am hoping this new technique will benefit both my son and myself, and keep working. If not, I'll try something new. But for now, I am happy that I've learned the 'real' way to properly introduce the CIO method. I am optomistic.
Cross your fingers.
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