Sexy Bra Fitting Guide by HOTmilk

19 months and no end in sight.

It's been awhile since my last post. Life got busy as I set out to do just what I had written about in fear. I wrote about my trials with having to go back to work and not being ready to wean from nursing. My final words were "In two years I hope you find me with a child attached to my chest. Then you will know that Carter is leading the weaning not work." I am proud to update that at 19 months and counting, Carter and I still share the occasional nursing session, and it is ever more wonderful now then before.

When C turned 9 months I got hired to work part-time for Shoppers Drug Mart. The schedule worked perfectly with Daddies schedule and allowed us to have 2 incomes and NO childcare costs. Carter had only started solid foods around 7-8 months, it was a slow process, and I was insecure about leaving him to go to work.

Turns out that having a few shifts a week, was a welcomed change of scenery. I loved the math of opening the store and completing deposits. (AND I HATE MATH) I enjoyed solving customer issues. Mainly because they didn't concern diaper rash, or sleepless nights. ( I do not work in the pharmacy.) Other then the noticeable engorgement of my breasts from going 5 hours without nursing, I hardly noticed the time as it ticked by, and enjoyed myself.

Daddy and Carter were forced to figure things out in a new way. And that they did. These guys didn't miss me for a second, and I will always thank my job for getting me out of the house and out of my husbands way. To allow him do his Daddy duties without me there to interfere or take over. Carter has the best Dad. I will never ever doubt that. I am so lucky.

A few months after starting at Shopper's I took on a little boy Carter's age to babysit and bring in even more cash-flow. Again this allowed me to stay home with my son to continue breastfeeding, and now my income has doubled.

So look at me now! I consider myself to be a full-time, working stay at home Mom. I have achieved my goal of allowing for child led weaning, AND contribute to our household income. I am proud of myself for getting to this point. Proud of my son for following along so willingly and staying connected. And proud of my life.

My Toddler is leading the weaning. Not work. And I couldn't be happier.

Breastfed.: morning humor

Breastfed.: morning humor:

"Reflections of Breastfeeding"

As I was watching this, I started to well up and cry. My 14 month old climbed up onto my lap, looked me in the eyes and gave me a kiss. His giant hug soon turned into nursing. I think that was his way of comforting me. It's the only way he knows comfort, so it must work for his Mama too.

Great paragraph I found on the web

"Possibly the most important aspect of breastfeeding a toddler is not the nutritional or immunologic benefits, important as they are. I believe the most important aspect of breastfeeding a toddler is the special relationship between child and his mother. Breastfeeding is a life-affirming act of love that repeats itself every time the child goes to the breast. This continues when the baby becomes a toddler. Anyone without prejudices, who has ever observed an older baby or toddler breastfeeding can testify that there is something special, something far beyond food, going on. A toddler will sometimes spontaneously, for no obvious reason, break into laughter while he is breastfeeding. His delight in the breast goes far beyond a source of food. And if the mother allows herself, breastfeeding becomes a source of delight for her as well, far beyond the pleasure of providing food. The mother comforts the child with breastfeeding and the child comforts the mother by breastfeeding."

Keep Kids Rear-Facing!

Knitted breasts created by 91-year-old pensioner

Knitted breasts created by 91-year-old pensioner

Happy Birthday Shannon

A quarter century so far
and although no surprise
you warmed our hearts with all you do
and with your feisty blue eyes

you were born with your beauty
and that never has quit
blonde locks and ready smile
your trade mark, and wit

a nose no more than a button
you were cute right from the start
but if one would ever think that all there might be
you brought laughter and joy to their heart

you showed depth, and a spunk
from a very young age
no one pushed you around
and you weren't so easy to gage

oh you always had friends
too many to count
then came tap, and soon jazz
all before the stage you'd mount

the first time you cried
but made not a peep
then came your pure voice
so strong and so sweet

you're loved because you love so well
from the core, right from your heart
we all win to know you as you grow
even when were often apart

and now as a partner, and a mother
it's the beginning of your next chapter in life
the first twenty five have gone by in a flash
and wait the next quarter with delight

Happy Birthday Shannon

Daddy

Loving my body

Since giving birth to my son, I have struggled with my post baby body. I find myself so busy with a bouncing baby boy, that my regular gym and nutrition lifestyle have been completely replaced with shear laziness. When I get the chance to be alone, I'd much rather read, or nap while Carter is down. Not jump on a tread mill.

After months of self hate, and guilt due to thinking I had given up on myself, I took a long second and realized something: I am NOT being lazy, I AM having an active lifestyle, and I just need to readjust my expectations of myself.

Eating has become a marathon race against the clock. Eat before Carter wakes up, Eat while Carter is happy, eat eat eat. All I have to change in this circumstance is my control over the time I allow myself to slowly enjoy my food. I now have Carter eating with us, or have toys at the table, get him involved. Stop trying to eat while he's sleeping... (the smell of food wakes him up anyways) I eat smaller snack meals constantly during the day, and take my time to enjoy what I'm putting into my body. (I'll worry about the nutrition part eventually... :P)

Exercising to me was, hitting the gym, or going out for runs and rollarblades. Since having Carter that has competely stopped. BUT, I realized a few days ago, I am still active. EG: The million trips I take up the stairs to my sons nursery is a way better workout than the Stair Master. Chasing him around the Library leaves me breathless. Carting around a 20 pounder and all his accessories is a muscle builder ... and yoga? Well I guess that would be my sex life ;)

On top of all that hard areobic and strength training, I manage to do a complete circut training course daily. I start in the kitchen with dishes, tidy the toys, run my dogs back and forth to the kennel, lug the loads of laundry... and run on the spot, while my head spins :)

Yesterday I stood infront of the mirror in my buff and smiled. My baby belly has become wrinkly and covered with stretch marks. My hips are 3 inches wider than they were. My breasts are.... awesome. I am totally over hating my body, because it has done and continues to do so much for me. Of course there are going to be some signs of ware and tare.

I am loving my body.

Learning to deal with other Mom's jabs... sorry advice.

Everyone deals with it, even without intention. Mom's in general always think they have the right answer, or have it worse than you. I know this to be true, because I AM always right and my situation IS worse than yours. ;)
For example: Carter does not sleep through the night. Not even close. He's awake sometimes every 1.5 hours, and can only settle while being nursed. Most mothers pipe up and tell me to sleep train, "It worked for me, if you do it right it'll work for you." or "My kids are 10 and still waking at night, wait till you've been sleep deprived for 10 years."
At first glance I want to punch you in the face for trivialising my predicament. But, I've been trying to deal with such comments with a better understanding. Trying to get to the root of why women are telling me these horror stories or making it seem "so easy." It kills me to say it... BUT they are only trying to help.
Everyone thinks (and I am just as guilty) that their advice is going to be the advice that 'clicks' and is the suggestion you've been waiting for, that will miraculously cure all your baby woes. And when I think of it that way...
All you mom's and your unintended insults of wisdom are so sweet. Thank you so much for caring and for trying to help me out. Although your advice will probably make me roll my eyes at first, I do take all advice to heart eventually. I appreciate the input. Even if I think you're wrong :P

Formula Fed America Trailer -Now THIS I have GOT to See!

Formula Fed America Trailer -Now THIS I have GOT to See!

Breastfeeding: Join the Boob-olution!

Mommy ReeeeeMIX - Sing-Along-Songs

Jumpin Up and Down in my Little Blue Jumper. (Jumpin Up and Down in my Little Red Wagon)
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper
Jumping all day long!
Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper

Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper

Jumpin up and down in my little blue jumper

Jumpin with my mom!

2nd Verse to Head and Shoulders.

Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
Tummies too
Tummies too
Elbows, Fingers, Tummies too
I love all of you!

One Little Monkey Jumping on the Couch (Bed)

One little monkey jumpin on the COUCH
He fell down and he yelled OUCH
Mommy called the Doctor the Doctor SHOUTS

NO MORE MONKIES JUMPIN ON THE COUCH!

"Like a Cow"

Recently I've been put into the situation where I've had to explain breastfeeding to several children. Kids that come into my home, who come from homes that bottle feed. I have never been one to hide while Carter nurses, so I guess this moment was bound to happen more than once.

Obviously when a child see's Carter latched onto my boobs, they come running over, "What's he doing?" They always say with blank stares, and wonder. At first I was a little insecure. Was this something I should really be explaining to children that aren't mine? Yes. They are in my home, and asking a very natural question, about something just as natural.

Here are my two recent enounters and how I handled them:

1) Breanna is my 2nd cousin on my husbands side. She is 6 years old, and this was my first time meeting her. I had gone upstairs to nurse Carter, where the distractions were gone, so he could have a solid feed. When who should pop her head around the door frame? I invited Breanna in and she came right up to my breasts and looked at Carter suckling away.

"What is he doing to you Shannon?"
I was caught off guard. I wasn't sure how to explain. So I went about it very matter of fact.
"I am feeding Carter my own milk. He drinks from me instead of from a bottle. My breasts make milk special for him when he is hungry."
Breanna was satified with that answer, and seemed to understand. After a few minutes, she looked up from staring at Carter and said to me:
"Which side in Chocolate?" I smiled and told her "I think the right one." :)

2) My niece Brooklyn on my husbands side is 4. The same situation had come up, but she was not as satified with my "matter of fact" explantion of breastfeeding. I searched my brain for a way to explain it to her that might make some real sense to her. "I GOT IT!"

"Brooklyn you know how baby Calfs drink milk from the mommy Cows in your backyard?" -S
"Ya, then we drink that milk too." -B
"Well, Auntie Shannon is like a Mommy Cow and Carter is like a baby Calf." -S
"Oh, OK."
And that was that.

I wonder what it will be like explaining breastfeeding to a little boy?

Back to work, but not weaning...

 After fighting it as long as we could, the decision has been made. I have to go back to work. This is the most unnatural feeling, and it builds up inside me and makes my hands shake. I know I am not the first mother who has had to go back to work before the end of the first year. (my mom, and how about all those American moms?) I know I am not a special case. But Carter is, and I feel like I have screwed him out of that first steady, easy, predictable first year.

I have always known that I would nurse Carter as long as he wanted to. Let him lead me in terms of weaning, when he was ready. My mom nursed me to 18 months, until one day I went up to her and pulled her shirt back down "no mommy." I know I broke her heart that day. (she reminds me all the time) I swore I would do for my children what she did for me.

How does a mom go back to work, and still allow for child led weaning.. without shortening the experience?

Well, I don't know. But am determined to figure it out.

Les has always been a great support, from day one literally when he fought off a NICU nurse and the dreaded bottle. "Shannon and I feel very strongly about exclusively breastfeeding Carter, please do not give him a bottle if we aren't here. Shannon will come whenever a feeding is needed. If this seems difficult, could we please speak to a nurse that shares our views?" We never saw that nurse again, and Carter never went hungry. So that being said he is very supportive of figuring out a way to keep nurishing our boy with my liquid gold, while I return to work aswell. "I would hate to see you go to formula, after knowing and seeing how important this is to you." (at least I have support cause this is going to be tough)

The plan? Well, we plan to take this next month introducing new foods to Carter and starting the whole process. (gah, I was hoping to just nurse and let Carter pick foods off our plates as he seemed interested.... and not really forse the whole solids thing.) Once he has a good grasp on new foods, start allowing Daddy to feed the occasional late morning/ late afternoon BM bottle. Allowing Carter to get used to that, before I even think about a stranger doing it. My hope is that I can find a childcare provider close to where I find my job. I plan to feed Carter during my lunch or any breaks I may get. Hopefully preventing too much of a switch to the bottle. (though I know that is inevitable)

This post is taking me forever to wrtie... I find I can't even find the words to make this feel right, or make it seem possible. I know most people would think I am making to much of this. Maybe. But, decisions regarding your baby are never easy. I know Carter is resiliant, and he will get plenty of great experiences at a daycare. Selfishly I want my baby home with me, where I know he will be loved, and nurtured. Selflessly I know I need to work, to help provide for my son. So I can continue to give him the best life he deserves.

Maybe Carter will wean himself over the next month... but, I hope in 2 years you see me with a toddler attached to my chest. Then you will know, Carter is leading the weaning. Not Work.

I let my baby 'cry it out.'

 But not in the way you might think. As most mommies that know me know, I was TOTALLY against the CIO method. For the last 2 months Carter has been giving my 'gentle' parenting style a true run for it's money, when it came to night waking. Things had gotten so bad that Carter ( a fully fed and satified baby ) was waking ever 45 mins at night. He would fall asleep nursing or only being held and the moment he was placed in his crib... BOOM wide awake and not interested at all in "sleepy time."

I started thinking that there was no point to going to bed myself, because I would go to sleep to be woken up minutes later. This pattern ineveitably was going to catch up with me, and who was going to suffer? My teeny insomiac son. Instead I got serious about researching sleep training. (I still cringe at that thought. He's only 5 months, what am I doing thinking I should be training him so young?) But I knew if I didn't try to fix this night issue, my 'gentle' techniques would turn to that of an Ogar.

So, I spoke with my sisters and other moms, and did extensive research online. I realised that CIO didn't mean leaving your baby to fend for itself. Left to cry in a dark, lonely, scary room, to figure out that crying wouldn't get him anywhere. It was not to have my baby end up feeling issolated and abandoned. Nor was it to leave him for hours alone, in hopes of him "figuring" it out. The true CIO method is actually quite reasonable and so far, working for Carter and me.

I recognize that Carter is only demanding me so much at night, because he can. He knows if he cries, I'll come sweepng him up and put him to the breast. Or walk around with him singing him back to sleep. (who wouldn't want that?) So, after following our same familliar and sucessful bedtime routine, I lay Carter in his crib awake, kiss him and tell him I love him. Leave the room. He falls asleep fine the first time.

During the night I started letting him cry with me by his side, with a calm voice I tell him "It's time to sleep now, shhhh, time to close your eyes" and brush his cheeks with my fingers. Once he is calm I leave the room. If he cries, I allow 2 minutes to go by before I go back in and do the same thing. Gently reminding him that is time to sleep, and give him his soother. After going back into his room 3 times, my little guy usually takes his soother for the final time and falls asleep. I go through this 2-3 times a night, and it only last for about 5-10 mins. VS the hours spent trying to rock him or nurse him to sleep that clearly wasn't working.

I am hoping this new technique will benefit both my son and myself, and keep working. If not, I'll try something new. But for now, I am happy that I've learned the 'real' way to properly introduce the CIO method. I am optomistic.

Cross your fingers.

Another awesome article full of info from my favorite blogger.

First let me start by stating, that Carter, Les and I had an amazing hospital stay. I was so in-love with my nurses, that leaving the hospital was something I postponed as long as I could. Though imediately following Carter's birth I have regrets regarding how my long awaited meeting with my son was basically ripped from me. I felt so out of control with how things went once he arrived.
I delivered Carter 3 weeks early because I had developed Preaclampsia. Because of this, my delivery room was full of (in my mind 25 million annoying loud doctors,  staring at me... down there, waiting for me to say "HUT" He was not put on my chest like my birth plan had stated, but taken from me wrapped up tight and taken to the NICU where he waited for me to come and see him. To this day, I don't even REALLY know why Carter was in the NICU.
I did not get the immediate chance I wanted to nurse my son right away, in fact no one even told when I could... After what seemed like HOURS (though I'm sure it was only minutes) I told Les enough was enough "take me to the NICU I'm feeding my son." He did and I did, it was amazing. Though not the idealistic dream I had in mind. 
I do not blame the hosptial. They were doing what they thought was best for Carter, and they also had tons of babies in their NICU care. Next time I know, I need to take my own birth experience into my own hands. Because really, no one cares about my specific delivery as much as I do. I will not fly by the seat of my pants, because next time I will be more prepared, and no more of what to expect.
This blogger clearly lables out some of my main concerns with how my delivery went. Though my experience was overall, the most amazing adventure, I appreciate the care I was given and will never forget them... I struggle a little, and this explains why.

http://naturalmamanz.blogspot.com/search/label/Birth

I do not feel as though Carter and my bond suffered, as a result of not getting to bond with him immediately. But I sure do wish I would have had that amazing first hour alone with him and Les... Next time, we will be more prepared, and speak up.

My Prince's Bedtime Routine

This night-time routine has been perfected. It may take awhile but Carter really responds well to it, and I think if I forgot a step, he'd remind me... "Mom, you forgot to read about George."
Recently I have been having a very hard time getting Carter to sleep for longer periods during the night without waking to nurse, or play... (Yes play. At 3am for an hour.) I decided to start a very long bedtime routine and delay his actual crib time until 9 or even 10pm.
This is what has been working: Starting at 5:30pm or 6:30pm depending on the day. Ending at 9:00pm or 10:00pm

6:30pm- 45 min last nap.
7:30pm- Last round of Daddy time. The ultimate in play time.
8:30pm- Jolly Jumper. Carter needs to tire himself out, and he will jump like a crazy baboon for almost 45 min. We play music and dance with him or sing songs. "One little monkey jumper on the bed..."
9:00pm- Bath. He will spash and laze in that darn tub for a half hour, or until he's completely absorbed the water into his fingers and toes.
9:30pm- Lavendar lotion massage and change into PJ's
9:45pm- Final nurse. He cluster feeds at this time, and we usually take breaks to burp and read Curious George.
10:00pm- Put in his crib awake to listen to his music and cuddle his blankie. He falls asleep on his own.

This routine has Carter only waking twice in the night. Both times just to quietly nurse and go back to sleep.
Dear Lord, let this not be a fluke.

Raising a confident and secure baby.

The best way to stimulate your baby's developing mind is to do everything you can to build a secure attachment with him. Babies are born prewired to attach to their parents, and facilitating that emotional bond is the most important thing you can do for early brain development. Talking to him, having lots of eye contact, touching and massaging him, singing to him, and imitating the noises that he makes are all ways to connect with your baby. The better the connection, the more at ease he'll be in the world -- allowing him to explore with a sense of internal security.

- Dr from Babycenter.com

... yes I do only search for articles that validate my own choices ... lol